Movin' on up... To the East side!

So, I finally moved into my new place, well, mostly anyway. I still have somethings at Eric/a's to grab. I hope to have people over soon. I've been thinking about if I get an adapter to run videos from my computer to the TV I'd throw a "Simpsons" party. That might be fun, maybe complete with Homer-esqe foods? (Beer and Donuts anyone?).

Anyway, if anyone wants to get ahold of me, it's 345-1499.

Port Arthur is the East side, right?

Bless you!

Where do blessings come from?

Are they from God or do they stem from circumstances and decisions by myself and others? I want to assume that they are from God. I want to come across an opportunity or prize and say "Thank you, God, for this blessing" but then what does that say about (our favourite example) the starving child in Africa? Either God has decided to bless me and not bless them or God is just letting free will reign. I think it was Al Pacino in Devil's Advocate who said something like "When something good happens, it's because God's goodness. When something bad happens, you say 's*** happens'."

I've been feeling blessed in some ways recently. Not in ways that are life changing or anything, but little things that help make easier and these things seem to be coming along at just the right time. But why? Surely there is someone else who deserves these 'blessings', if they are indeed from God, far more than I do.

But if I can't depend on blessings from God, then what's the point of requesting things in prayer? What makes me so different than the child in Africa? Is s/he overflowing with different kinds of blessings that I am seeking out? Like, oh, I don't know... A less rushed lifestyle, closer family ties, a more grounded personality? It would be nice to think that I am no more blessed then African child but we just live in a society that puts all kinds of value on money and status and that what they have, in God's eyes, is an equal portion of blessing. Then I could confidently say "A good thing just happened to me, it was from God."

Ecc 7:14: "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other..."

Um, okay. So, Travis gets a raise: "Thanks, God!"; Travis gets cancer: "God?! What are you doing?!" It's no wonder that people believed that when something bad happened to you it was because of sin. It seems like a pretty logical conclusion to me.

Maybe it's just that I look at life too materialistically (is that a word?... Richard?), and if I knew what was good for me, anything that shortened my life span is the best blessing I could get.

Or maybe everything is a blessing when you get down to it. And I should just walk around like an idiot with a big goofy smile on my face repeatedly saying "Thank you, God. Thanks, God. Thanks again, God."

1 Thes 5:16-18: "Always be joyful and never stop praying. Whatever happens, keep thanking God because of Jesus Christ. This is what God wants you to do."

Anyway, I'm going to stop now before a) I talk in circles and b) people see the length of this blog and say "What did he write his life story?! I'm not reading that!"

Pic of the day!

Oh, to be Lonely

Wow, has it really been a whole week since I last blogged? Well then, I guess it's time to get back on the wagon or get off the wagon... Which ever one is the good one.

This past weekend was kind of tough, or rough, take your pick. I've been letting my angry issues get the better of me and I've been quite crabby and antisocial, or atleast my desire has been to be crabby and antisocial, I hope I faked it well. Talking with most people has become a chore and meeting obligations has become tiresome and something I really resent. I just really wanted to push people away this weekend.

All weekend I felt miserable because I wanted to be left alone and all weekend I felt guilty because I wanted to be left alone.

I'm actually happy that weekend is over. Finally! I get to go back to work, where I get to listen to all the CBC Radio I want. I get to escape reality while working out at the gym and then I get to be creative at my Computer Art class. And then I can go home, make some supper and watch behemoth men in tights pummel each other during wrestling. Alone.

"Alone!!!" *shakes fist at computer screen*

Cajun Justice

These days I have a smorgus board of emotions that I'm going through. I'm happy, excited, depressed, angry, content, and anxious. I guess it has to do with the fact that my life has a large amount of significant things happening to/for me at this moment in time.

I wrote about some happy things in my last blog, and to add to that, I'm moving in with my friend, Ryan, on June 1st into a pretty neat house.

I feel a bit of anxiety surrounding my Stats special exam, because I can't write it until August.

Unfortunately, I need to go against the so-called "spirit" of blogs. Apparently there is some belief about blogs being "uncensored" but at the end of the other line is a real person reading this blog.

Suffice to say, I have a blob of depression mixed with a smidgen of anger on my emotional palette. Thankfully though, there are quite a few positive things going on for me so it's not like I can't escape it when I have to. But I don't want to escape the ugly brown blob, I want to make it prettier. I want to work on it.

One thing that I've been working on with my counselor is trying to appreciate the positive aspects of my life and be patient with things that need to change. As it says in The Good Book (in my best Jewish rabbi accent): "The end of a matter is better then its beginning, and patience is better than pride." Hmmm, I wonder if a Jewish rabbi has ever quoted the New testament? (Mashugana!)

So it's hard to look at that blob and not be discouraged, but I guess as long as I'm afraid of it nothing will change, because to be honest, I've been spending a lot of time avoiding it, denying it, and being mad at it (Out damn spot!)

Piece Out.

Wallet found. My poor counselor

Yesterday after my class I came home to a disturbing message: Someone had found my wallet. It was disturbing because I didn't even notice my wallet was missing! That morning or the night before someone must have gotten into my car (which I may or may not have left unlocked) and taken it down the street, which is where the people lived that found my wallet. They said all the contents had been taken out and hidden under their fence. All that was missing was $20, my Visa, and my Future Shop card. If I had any money in my wallet I would have given it to the nice family, but I'll think of some other way to thank them.

I raced home and called up Visa. No purchases. I cancelled the card. I called Future Shop and got it cancelled. I'm thankful that my thief was nice enough to leave my Brick credit card, my identification, and coupons (such as a 2-for-1 coupon for Famous Players!)

Anyway, other non-wallet related stuff...

I'm busy, busy, busy. Which I'm actually really enjoying. I like being busy when it's things I like to do. I like work. I like my computer art class. I like going to the gym. And I love a lot of other things in my life: I love hockey, I love watching movies, last but not least, I love hanging out with my "shorty" (as those hip and or hop artists are calling them now). So in all this contentment, I have to ask myself?

What am I going to tell my counselor? I mean, she's counting on me to come in there and make her feel better about herself, right?

Soggy Weekend

This weekend has been quite wet and cold. Which has brought be down a bit, but I've been fighting it at least, trying to keep myself happier and I've been relatively successful.

Anyway, this coming week will be a busy one as I'll be beginning my spring course, Computer Art I, this week. So that means that I'll be working from 8:30-4:30 and then have class 5:00-7:30 from Monday to Thursday and putting in a workout at the gym on my lunch break. I'm actually not dreading all this though. I'm looking forward to being busier for some reason. In fact, I'm considering applying for a second job at the Chronicle Journal for evenings and weekends doing graphic design work. We'll see I guess.

Back to this weekend. It did have some highlights. I went with my girlfriend and her mom to the Folklore Festival (is it just me or does every country claim to be the home of the sausage?), and I got to hang out with a buddy and watch the 'wrasslin pay-per-view and one of my favourite shows, Family Guy, returned after a very long haitus.